Why I chose to do it?
Honestly, I felt like it was time. We had a 15 year (really longer...sigh, I know) beef with each other. To be honest, I don't remember all the details, and it really wouldn't matter much now anyway.
This weekend, I posted a picture of my daughter and her dad, captioned, "Sometimes, you have to lose a few fights to win the battle. I could write a book about this life...(I kinda did. 😉)
Here's co parenting and raising a sincere kid.
Sidenote: @mstinalawson inspired this pic. Shout out to moms and dads that make it happen. 💪👑💜"
The responses were heartwarming, and it made us both proud.
Babbbyyyy...let me tell you this:
That was all Gawd, and therapy!!
If you read, "Peace & Woman Up", from my first book, Unmasked: The Journeys & its Lessons, you got a glimpse of life during the murky stages.
If you know our story personally, it was not an easy route. It was not always filled with roses and tulips, but some tears, abuse and confusion. It was a tug-of-war, with a couple of moments of stargazing, hand holding in sunsets and some painful regrets.
One thing we both agreed on, was that we loved Sincere. I will be the 1st to admit, we put our child through a lot, especially during her early years. She deserved so much better.
At one point, I forget what we were fighting about. I realized that the bitterness and fear of hurt, was stopping me from maintaining healthy relationships. I hadn't healed past wounds and had never taken the time to rediscover myself. I had become cold to love because I conditioned myself to protect my heart. If I even thought, I was getting close to someone, a small voice would say, "Remember what happened the last time?" I settled for relationships that allowed me to stay emotionally disconnected, so I could control everything. The truth is I was really scared. (Yep. I did my own heartwork.)
Therapy was a beautiful gift.
It taught me to free myself, to move past the stage where I was stuck emotionally, and it did the same for him. Forgiveness is powerful.
Although, we will never be a couple, we both realized that our child needed us more. We needed each other as partners. While we may make single parenting look easy, mama gets tiiieeeddd. Plus, there is strength and balance in uniting and supporting our daughter.
Let me throw this disclaimer out real quick: I won't say that this is going to be easy. There's no quick fix, but it's progress. We definitely call each other out on our bull***, try to be honest as possible with each other and communicate clearly. Changing the way we interact with each other has been helpful. We practice healthy debating, no cussing each other. We make plans in consideration. After all, that's what co-parenting is about.
Shout out to all those who co-parent, and those who are working on the journey. You'll get there. I would definitely say that kids will make you grow up, and question your own actions.
"So, what made y'all finally grow up after 15 years?", along time friend laughed.
God and Therapy.
“However, now I understand.
I learned that the gift was never about me loving you,
But learning to love me,
Now that I have unmasked you, too,
We both are free.” - Same Line, Different Song, from Unmask You Too